I have got to page 193 in Belle de Jour – Belle’s Best Bits.

It’s a cracking read. Each diary entry I think, “Wow, that almost happened to me”. And it occurred to me that if I used a similar style our bed blogs could become a phenomenon too:

Jeudi, le 4 Fevrier

Looked up from my desk to see R and A snogging on our Julian Bowen supra sofa bed. I thought it’s only 10 30 in the morning and a bit early for lying down on the job.

“R”, I said, “It’s C1 on the phone” (C1 is R’s latest lover). There was a bit of giggling but no answer to my exhortation. R knows what a kill joy I can be.

Feeling ignored, I said, “A – that Kaymed premium memory pillow could help you with that position”. But I knew after all her pilates she wouldn’t own up to needing any pelvic support.

I could see it was going to be a long day at the orifice.

Would you believe it?

I only bought the book because Billy Piper featured on the front cover. So Belle’s blogs would have totally passed me by if it hadn’t been for my interest in Dr Who. Always liked science fiction better than sex. Ugh?

The Scottish furniture trade is much enhanced by this annual show, an event that has run continuously for 30 years. The show, now based at Ingleston, is dominated by beds and bedroom furniture. It probably reflects the dominance of the upholstery chains. Their buyers, who wouldn’t come anyway, would have found few sofas to look at.  Indeed the only big buyer I came across was Donald McKinnon from Reids (he is only a wee guy btw). Otherwise the show appears very much orientated to small independent bed buyers.

Of course we at Archers are an independent, we sell beds and bedroom furniture, and we are based just next door in sunny Glasgow. You could have believed the organisers had set up the exhibition just for us. A big boozey dinner is held on the Monday evening, and being alcoholics too, the coincidences just mount up.

The highlight of the show for us was Kozee Sleep. Their stand was totally black, totally …continue reading : 2010 Edinburgh Furniture Show Review

After 17 years of NEC furniture shows I feel qualified now to offer my review.

First. This was the smallest show I ever remember. No Silentnight or Sealy. No Cumfilux or Sleepeezee. No Halls 6, 7 or 8. Even with 3 hard nights on the booze I was fresh as a daisy and could remember who I’d spoken to and what I had bought. This is a first in 17 years.

The highlight of the show had to be Kaymed Beds once again. Their stand was very close to the entrance of Hall 5 and having the best beds at the show I frequently stopped for a quick …continue reading : 2010 NEC Furniture Show – Beds Review

Reddish Beds, Robin Hood Beds, Mr Bedds and Time for Bed. What do they all have in common? All are bed shops in Manchester? Yes. I visited them? Yes. I’d buy a bed from them? No way. I have my own bed shop remember. 

It’s tough when a bed magnate like myself feels uncomfortable spying on the local bed shop competition. Keep getting thrown out you see – false big nose and ears and …continue reading : Manchester Bed Shops Review

We visited Julian Bowen before Christmas to see where we can get better prices. Inevitably it involves buying containers so better prices needs higher volumes and there is no better candidate than our Double Barcelona pine bed frame. So we bought a couple of hundred to see.

Every retailer shows a shaker style pine bed but I do believe Julian’s shaker style bed, the Barcelona is the best quality and …continue reading : Barcelona Bed at New Cheap Prices

23 December 2009 will go down as a red letter day for Archers Sleepcentre. When our own Ayrshire version of SuBo, Stevie McGuire doubled up with Donna our very own Louise Veronica Ciccone to render Meat Loaf at its very best. Marvellous. Almost matches our Xmas Big Bed Sale.

We do gaze at our TV screens in wonder at the X factor talent and there right in front of our very eyes is top grade talent you can measure in tonnes (not you Donna btw, I mean yes you Donna on the talent bit, just not the tonnes bit). Sorry Stevie but you are a big guy ideally suited for the Meat Man himself.

Yes I thoroughly enjoyed our Archers Sleepcentre Xmas Training day. The Crazy Golf a bit arbitrary (I should have won), Whacky races a bit juvenile (Seafield proved their immaturity as if no-one previously knew), the food a bit 3rd worldly (edible if you were near starvation) but the karaoke and disco were splendid dude.

Everyone let their hair down. Alan McCarroll, unpartnered for the night, stripped off and proved he still has what it takes to go on 18 to 30 holidays. Kate and Angela proved there is a Santa Claus that even old guys can believe in (best Jingle Bells performance ever – they must have rehearsed for weeks – Angela remembered all the words) and Alex and Billy proved that fighting with handbags is an honourable sport.

Thank you all for a hugely entertaining prelude to the Christmas festivities. Come Boxing Day we have had to return to beds, mattresses and bedroom furniture. If only every day could be sex, drugs and rock and roll.

The refurbishment of our Great Western Road bed shop in Glasgow is just about finished. The office is pulled down, the spotlights replaced, the workstation moved and the painting completed – a bright orange. Yes, RAL code 2001 says burnt orange. I think the locals might call it tangerine. Ah well, …continue reading : Orange Bed Shop in Glasgow

It is an unwritten rule never to use sex to advertise beds. Silentnight however has taken a totally new spin on the issue. Let me explain.

We at Archers Sleepcentre have been pumping out babies as if …continue reading : Silentnight Hippo Fertilises Archers Staff

We have resisted showing the Millionaire Ortho mattress preferring the Sealy Superior Firm. The Superior Firm in my view has a much better spring system to the Millionaire and is a proper Sealy with no compromises.

Why am I prejudiced against orthopaedic beds that look like a mugs eyeful? People insist that the Millionaire does not fit this category of abuse. So anyone got any views?

We are going to trial the Millionaire Ortho mattress in our Glasgow South store. Pop in and give it a try and let me know….

There is something about financial results that bring a yawn and an insurmountable wave of enervation. There is nothing to be done and what’s the point in looking back anyhow?

I’ll be brief. Worst profit since 2005. But from the perspective of this time last year I’m happy. The exact figure waits for the completion of our auditors toil but its a decent if smallish number. Incidentally we achieved our best ever gross margin – the benefits of improved buying power, smarter selling, and of course a sizeable contribution from the VAT man.

The lights went out August 2007 and anyone who tells you …continue reading : Archers Sleepcentre 2009 Accounts