Birlea Bed Frame Sales Advice

The managing director of Birlea Beds told me recently, in his inimitable frank style: no-one is making a success of selling beds and mattresses on the internet past 40.

I, aged 49 1/2, was devastated. Those young turks, peering deep into their VDU’s, enticing our good Scottish folk to buy their Birlea beds from a geek in London.

So I asked Paul Longmore (aged 50), what can I do. He gazed at his pencil sharpener and said nothing. I asked David Buchanan (aged 40), is there any hope. He looked glum and picked up his Dungeons and Dragons self help book. I said, help me Dean (aged 37), who put his doughnut down and said you better ask Lindsay, she does all the work round here.

Lindsay (aged 23), what is the answer? She thought for a moment and said. What’s your problem big man. Have a look at this. A SERPS rank of 9 for “beds”. Lindsay gets all the rubbish jobs like checking our keyword rankings. Only because she is so young and needs character building jobs to make her hard.

Paul’s old catapult and bag of marbles had done the trick after all. So now when you want to buy a Barcelona white leather double bed or a Denver white single shaker bed, then look no further. Here is a team with over 50 years of experience selling beds that you can find by typing “beds” in to Google. How easy is that? Does that not make you feel good?

I am hugely proud of our team. David R and Luke B, our secret web weapons ought to get a mention too. But if I was to give you their real names I’d have to kill you.

Now where did I leave my slide rule?

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